Saturday, December 6, 2008

Catching up.

Late September, early October. Mowing/leaf pick-up at the Walnut trees (3) near the bus, I espied hundreds of fallen walnuts. Further investigation revealed stashes under the bus, in the engine compartment and even in the branches of a pine tree. A veritable treasure trove and surely of some use ! But it seemed, mainly being consumed by the squirrels. Surely something that I could handle.

Five large eco-shopping bags filled.. needed the trailer to transport them ! "temporarily" stored near the kitchen. There was something rather gratifying about removing the still hard green outer shell. There was something odder about the way my hands started turning black ! and even blacker when I started to scrape the last traces of pulp from the familiar walnut shells.
Yesterday I put the last bucket of walnuts, in their black syrupy pulp mess out on the back stoop. Defeated. Oh yes, I have about thirty nice looking walnuts for consumption, there is a permanent walnut stain on the solarium floor and the staircase to the basement has large stains ! All of the shopping bags are permanently marked !
But I am not defeated ! Anyone needing walnut stain, just call ! And next year I will be prepared. The walnuts will go into the concrete mixer for shelling. The residual liquid,stain will be drained into the large containers left over from the summer pool chemicals. The remaining unused fuel oil drum will be converted into a boiling vat, suspended over Joe's new stonehenge like fire pit, and the accumulated brush and scrap wood will be used to boil up the whole mess ! I'll set up a roadside stand on the Stata Road and peddle my wares.

Hartfield Walnuts, walnut stain, walnut liqueur will be my answer to the slumping economy. And in further preparation for this new venture I am committed to consuming a half litre of scotch every three days through the winter to provide the bottles for the walnut liqueur. A winning formula !


3 comments:

Rebecca said...

You are quite the entrepreneur! Have you tasted the walnuts?

Mira said...

Don't forget walnut butter...They charge a fortune for fancy nutbutters at the supermarket! Hilarious story...

Amalia said...

IT WAS FUNNY!